Suara.com – There is a sensational confession from TikToker Ira Nandha that she was allegedly cheating on her husband, pilot Elmer Syaherman. The husband is suspected of having an affair with flight attendant Bella Damaika.
Through his personal Instagram, Ira said that Elmer was caught cheating 6 times, 5 times with the same person and once with a different woman. According to Ira, at first he was able to endure it, but after many years, he could no longer endure the tormented feeling of being betrayed.
“From the start of my marriage, I was cheating on me with the same person and I always covered it up. I managed to survive these 4 years in silence, this time I was destroyed, but I don’t want to be destroyed alone. Let’s experience it together, okay?” wrote Ira in the caption of the chat post. Elmer Syaherman and Bella Damaika’s affair, Friday (29/12/2023).
The incident that Ira experienced made many netizens wonder, why is it difficult for cheaters to change? So, is there a way to stop cheating?
Viewed from a psychological perspective, cheating habits are difficult to change. Quoted from Hello Sehat, it is stated that when the perpetrator is discovered by their partner, it does not necessarily make them change and repent. This condition occurs for various reasons, for example because you feel intimidated by your partner, you feel like something is missing, or you are a sex maniac.
Cheating habits can change, but it requires the right approach and method to completely stop the desire to cheat.
Even feeling sorry for the partner who has been hurt is not enough to prevent cheating behavior in the future. To change, the perpetrator must know the root of the problem within himself, so that the fault is not on the partner’s side.
How to Get Rid of the Habit of Cheating
According to the Institute for Family Studies, it is estimated that 16 percent of people have cheated on their partner. Here’s how to stop cheating, citing Inside, that you can try:
1. Find out the causes of cheating
This method must be done to find out the reasons for cheating, so that the problem can be resolved. Psychologist Lori Beth said there are various reasons why someone cheats, one of which is to avoid conflict.
Whatever the cause of cheating, whether because of boredom, or just an impulsive act, try to overcome this problem and find a solution. After that, it is hoped that cheating will not happen again.
2. Try to be open with your partner
After infidelity occurs, it is difficult to rebuild trust. But try to be open, starting from trivial things, like telling your social media password as a start.
You can also tell about your personal life that you really want to cover. However, it is advisable to make an agreement first, such as not to be angry, or not to restrain your partner later.
3. Seeking Member Help
If you find it difficult to reduce cheating habits, seeking professional help is one of the best solutions. Moreover, there are some people who have different obsessions, such as adrenaline sensations, non-monotonous relationships with cheating, etc. This is a wrong and erroneous view, so it requires professional help such as a psychologist or psychiatrist.