In a community, there is usually always a figure who is considered popular and fun. Most people mention talent, even though anyone can have the same opportunity if they understand the right tricks.
According to Harvard research, as reviewed on the Inc page, it was revealed that “asking” turns out to be an important aspect in building a relationship. It may sound simple and boring, but this has been proven to be effective in opening relationships with other people and helping increase emotional intelligence.
Unfortunately, many people actually complicate this simple method with various kinds of drama, emotions, etc. so that the results are not effective. So what to do?
Here’s the secret to becoming an intelligent and popular person through asking questions, according to Harvard researchers, Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John:
1. Show Empathy and Attention
The Secret to Becoming a Smart and Popular Person According to Harvard Researchers/Photo: Freepik.com/Drazen Zigic
Even though it seems trivial, the “asking” technique is an important thing to learn. Several professions such as lawyers, doctors and journalists need to master the right methods to build relationships and get in-depth information about clients and sources.
There are many theories that are important to learn to ask questions effectively, but the most important thing is to consider the long-term impact of your questions.
Make sure you show attention and empathy so that the person you are talking to feels cared for and prioritized. This way, they will feel comfortable and be willing to open up.
2. Try asking further questions
The Secret to Becoming a Smart and Popular Person According to Harvard Researchers/Photo: Freepik.com
Brooks and John revealed that there are four types of questions, namely introductory (for example, how are you), mirror (return questions to the introduction, for example, how about you), diversions (questions that change the topic completely), and follow-up questions (to ask for more information). Each has its own effect and purpose.
If you intend to open the relationship and seek more information, then it is important to ask follow-up questions. There’s no need to rush, you just need to ask light questions, such as “so what happened?”, to make the person you are talking to open up slowly and finally reveal all the information to you.
3. Understand How to Deal with Silence
The Secret to Becoming a Smart and Popular Person According to Harvard Researchers/Photo: Freepik.com/lookstudio
A moment of silence often occurs in conversation. Some people will feel awkward and try to respond with questions and other stories. In fact, silence is often not without reason. What if at that time the person you are talking to is thinking about responding to your words? Isn’t interrupting people’s thinking time an unpleasant thing?
Therefore, when faced with this kind of situation, do not rush to try to break the silence in extreme ways. If you feel awkward or impatient, at least ask open and diplomatic questions that allow the other person to respond without being annoyed, for example “so what?”, “what are you thinking?”, “why are you suddenly silent?”
4. Arrange the Order of Questions
The Secret to Becoming a Smart and Popular Person According to Harvard Researchers/Photo: Freepik.com/drobotdean
One of the reasons people are reluctant to talk is that they get invasive questions at the start. For example, when a journalist conducts an interview with someone involved in a case. It is unlikely that the source will be open if the conversation is conducted directly to the point, unless the person concerned is planning to clarify.
For this reason, arrange the order of your questions, starting from the lightest and gradually moving towards the core. You need to build intimacy first, to gain trust, so that they reveal transparency without hesitation. Not only for getting information, this is also important for maintaining long-term relationships.
5. Pay attention to your tone
The Secret to Becoming a Smart and Popular Person According to Harvard Researchers/Photo: Freepik.com/jcomp
Researchers from Harvard also revealed the fact that a relaxed and relaxed tone of voice is much more preferable to most people.
This is proven by the results of their research which shows that the majority of respondents were more open when asked to share sensitive information via a site that looked relaxed, rather than disclosing it on a page that used standard language and concepts.
The same is thought to be true in the context of live chat.
6. Pay attention to group dynamics
The Secret to Becoming a Smart and Popular Person According to Harvard Researchers/Photo: Freepik.com/wavebreakmedia_micro
Talking personally is certainly different from talking in a group. Harvard research by Brooks and John again reveals that in group conversations, third parties will be more inclined or focused on the person who answered the question. The reason is, people who keep asking questions are considered less informative and tend to be arrogant.
What we can learn is that everyone must continue to contribute to group conversations. Even though asking questions can bring you closer to the person you are talking to, your presence will not be visible to third parties who witness the conversation. Therefore, provide balanced information, don’t just ask questions, but also provide new information or insights.
These are some of the secrets of being an intelligent and popular person that we can take away from Harvard research. Becoming a person who is pleasant and accepted by many people does require a process, so don’t give up trying to do it.
***
Want to be one of the readers who can take part in various exciting events at Beautynesia? Come on, join the Beautynesia reader community, B-Nation. How to REGISTER HERE!
(sound/sound)